Archive for the ‘internets’ Category

CORNIFY THE INTERNETS!!!

October 27, 2009

Being a sensitive new age mule, sometimes I think the internets can be a little harsh. Take my stream of life, for example. Some days I want to eat the orange off the screen, other days it fills me with almost-anger.

I could see a doctor about this. But why bother when the internets has the solution?

Cornify lets you make any page on the internets friendlier by adding to it horses with sharp looking rods busting out of their heads. I know that doesn’t sound calming but check them out, don’t they look cute?

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Cornify your life!!! I mean, internets!!!

http://www.cornify.com/

 

STAR WARS UNCUT…

October 26, 2009

…Or as I like to call it, Star Wars chopped into tiny little nerdy pieces!

15 second pieces to be exacto. Which is perfect for my non-existant attention spanner.

So who is making this? Georgio Lucaz? No, it’s the good people of the interweb – call it web 2.whatever, they’re all chipping in to recreate the first movie, ‘Star Wars: The First Adventure in Space’. (I think that’s what it’s called).

Watch the trailer, and get involved! But don’t expect me to – no pesos, no Raul!!! Capeesh???

INTERNET ADDICTION?

October 21, 2009

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All good things, like cat swinging and salsa chugging, are best enjoyed in moderation. And the internets is no different, amigos.

Just to be on the safe side, I decided to consult the internet for a free examination. I did this quiz.

http://www.netaddiction.com/resources/internet_addiction_test.htm

This is what it said:

Your Internet usage is causing significant problems in your life. You should evaluate the  impact of the Internet on your life and address the problems directly caused by your Internet usage.

I’m not sure amigos, I think I need to get a second opinion. Back to the internets I go!

ASK RAUL ANNOYING QUESTIONS DAY!

October 17, 2009

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When I’m not busy helping out my Nigerian friends with their investments, I like to answer your annoying questions to show off how genius I am.

Dear Raul,

What is the origin of the expression ‘donkey’s years’? And why does it mean a long time? I thought donkeys and mules lived fast and died young, in cool and heroic deaths?

Thanks,

Donny Spatulas, Traralgon, VIC

Hi Donny,

What’s with all the questions, amigo? You were only supposed to get one. You owe me big times. Anyway, here is what you want to know. This expression, which originated in England early last century, actually started out as a pun on ‘donkey’s ears’, because both years and ears are long. As for the living fast and dying young part, the answer is stunt doubles.

Now go away.

Your pal,

Raul.

MULE VS MOUNTAIN LION (MULE WINS!)

October 13, 2009

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Holy crap taco! I received an email this morning that contained the above picture and message:

Subject: Fw: Tough Mule

Some lion hunters were using mules to chase their hounds, which in turn were chasing a lion. Somehow the mule got hold of the lion and the photos are of it (the mule kicking and biting the **&%$$ out of the lion). If you look at the side of the 2-3 picture you see the lion hounds watching in amazement.

This is an amazing victory for mule kind! Of course it’s real. The internets wouldn’t lie to me, would it?

THREE MOVIE FRAMES

October 12, 2009

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I have such a short attention span, I find it almost impossible to sit through an entire movie. Fortunately someone has made a website where they cram the best three frames of a movie into an awesome animated .gif.

CLICK HERE to check out Three Frames for more glitchy movie awesomeness!!!


GARFIELD MINUS GARFIELD

October 5, 2009

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You know what I hate about Garfield? Garfield! That cat is so not funny. Looks like I’m not the only one who thinks so, because some genius has gone and stripped Garfield comics of Garfield. The result is all Jon and all LOLs.

CLICK HERE to check it out!


TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY

September 19, 2009

Ahoy there, me amigos!!! I be getting into the spirit of talk like a pirate day. Today I have set sail for she mule porn and I even made my cousin Raymon walk the plank.

Check out this fearsome mule pirate! Shiver me burritos!!!

SocratesPirate

CATSPIRACY THEORY

September 12, 2009

Have you noticed how the internet is overrun with cats?

According to the Google, there are 104,000,000 cats on the internet and only 5,530,000 mules. I can’t count but I know something is seriously wrong there.

100,000,000 of the results are probably pictures of LOLcats.

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If you think this is cute then you have been brainwashed.

With all this activity, the cats are obviously up to something. My guess is that they’re using their cuteness to turn everyone into sissies, so that they can one day rise up and take over the world.

When the cat uprising happens, don’t say I didn’t tell you so!!!

WHAT A POSER!!!

September 6, 2009

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Check out this guy. They call him the Crasher Squirrel and he thinks he’s some kind of model. He popped up on this photo and now he is everywhere:

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More Crasher Squirrel here.