Archive for the ‘dislikes’ Category

THE END???

November 2, 2009

What, you’re supposed to pay for the internets???

Amigos, I have just received an internet bill for a crazy amount of pesos. And because I spent all of my savings on my George Clooney nose job, I am afraid I cannot pay it.

So amigos, this is Raul signing out. It has been a blast being your hero for the last 2 months.

It is time for me to disappear quietly into the night like The Predator. Or I could go out with a bang.

Explode-05-june

Adios!

MULE TOYS REVIEWED

October 28, 2009

If mules are the coolest animal on the planet, then why do the toys based on them suck lemons?

Use the scrolly thing to move down and get ready to shake your head in disappointment!

wednesday3

What’s going on here? The mule is stranded on a hideous cart going nowhere. To make it even more degrading, he has a bell on his tail. And ask me what’s going on around his neck. I’ve had more fun with paper cuts.

Rating:

0/5

wednesday2

This mule toy would be alright if he wasn’t attached to a creepy clown and had a jetpack strapped to his back. But he doesn’t, so it’s another failure for mule toy kind.

Ration

0/5

wednesday

Yes, I am aware that this is donkey from Shrek. Who is a donkey. But when mule toys suck as bad as the above two, for now we’ll have to take what we can get. At least he has a styling mullet.

2/5

 

Hopefully one day they will make a mule transformer slash Godzilla action figure! But until then I will have to be content playing with my cousin Raymon’s mind.

JUST SAY NO!

October 14, 2009

pinTailDonkey

A sinister crime is about to be committed.

Pin the tail on the donkey is not a game, it is an act of animal cruelty. So many of my donkey brothers have suffered the humiliating sting of the pin into their innocent, fleshy rumps. Just the mention of the word “pin” will make their legs tremble like maracas.

So the next time someone tries to get you play this sick and cruel game at a party, JUST SAY NO!!!

This message was written on behalf of The AASP (Ass Ass Protection Society.

FORGET ABOUT PABLO…

October 7, 2009

muley

I have a new nemesis, Muley the Mule. He has his own website and entertainment company. His existence puts my internet fame on Jeopardy, and I hate that show!!!

He even ripped off my idea for a zombie talkshow. Amigo, you just messed with the wrong mule!

CLICK HERE to read more about this imposter!!!

FURRIES=WTF???

September 29, 2009

You can learn some strange things here on the internets, amigos. Today I regrettably discovered the world of furries.

Furries are humans who wish they were animals. Because their sucky DNA won’t let them be the real thing, they have to resort to dressing up in stupid animal costumes. Then they go to freaky parties where everyone pretends they are in the wild. Creepy.furries

This kind of attire is okay if you work at a theme park. Outside the gates, it’s just plain creepy.


CATSPIRACY THEORY

September 12, 2009

Have you noticed how the internet is overrun with cats?

According to the Google, there are 104,000,000 cats on the internet and only 5,530,000 mules. I can’t count but I know something is seriously wrong there.

100,000,000 of the results are probably pictures of LOLcats.

funny-pictures-opera-cat-sings-soprano

If you think this is cute then you have been brainwashed.

With all this activity, the cats are obviously up to something. My guess is that they’re using their cuteness to turn everyone into sissies, so that they can one day rise up and take over the world.

When the cat uprising happens, don’t say I didn’t tell you so!!!